I just had a dream about an old friend of mine. We are no longer friends..sure I have seen her on Facebook but there is no need to reopen that friendship. This particular friend was known to get a boyfriend and basically not be around. When she was single, if you had a boyfriend, she would actually try to get their attention.. If you were both single, she would tell me there is no way that guy liked me..they liked her. It wasn't just me, one time she said that the guys were all looking at her and no one else in our group! It's funny because we both had the same first name and same major and were in the same program in school so I figured we should be great friends. I am the type of person I was super friendly and wanted to be friends with everyone. It took a while but I realized she really wasn't a friend.
Toxic friends..reading my friend Shanimal's blog (http://www.shanimaltalks.com/#!Girl-Code-101/c1wia/3BF02EA4-F790-49CA-9282-5201ED754405) on girl code, really made me think recently. It is so important to have good friends that lift you up and don't put you down. They don't want to compete for the same guys at all. In my 20's, I said goodbye to several friends. Unfortuantely, a few I gave a few parting words. I realized years later you need to be careful about that..it's not like a soap opera where you get to tell someone off and win..you may run into them again and they may have words for you. It's best to quietly take yourself away from these friends and honestly since they are not that there for you, it's pretty easy to tone down the friendship.
As someone who really wants EVERYONE to like her and be everyone's friend, it was a hard thing to realize that some people are not just good friends. I am really proud that I did start to weed out my friends back in my 20's..in my 30's I have the best set of friends ever. And when you are a grown up, you will go through all kinds of things that you can't imagine ever happening to you--death, divorce, etc. You need good people around.
Enjoy Shanimal's blog and thank you for being a friend!!
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